10 things to do alone on a beautiful Saturday

How much do you understand yourself?

I think I understand myself pretty well, although I don't think it's possible for someone to know everything about themselves - unless they have the exciting personality of dishwater.

Have you ever tried putting conscious effort to get to know yourself better? Do you take your preferences for granted? When you say you like or dislike something, do you know why? Have you ever been in a position where you decide on something because it's 'obvious' that's what you want. But once you made a decision, you realised that you're not really that happy with it?

Well, spending time on your own can really help you find out a lot of things about yourself. I find the most effective approach of discovering more things about yourself is to consider yourself... as your friend!

Think this way. You see someone you like. (Let's call this someone CP [Cutie Pie] to make things easy for me). You want to get closer because you know that once you know CP better, you will like him/her more! And hopefully, that person will like you more too.

So what do you do? You pick up the phone and ask CP out. You pretend to bump into CP on the streets and offer to buy CP a drink. You make a movie date. You pay attention when CP is talking to know what is always on his/her mind. You want to know CP's pet peeves, what gets CP going, what ticks CP off. You want to know everything about CP!

Now think of yourself. Have you ever taken just you yourself out for a nice treat? Have you ever caught yourself thinking, "There's no reason to go to such a nice place and get nice things - it's just me."?

If you have, then it's time to change it!

If you wake up one beautiful Saturday morning like today, and there's no one around to spend time with you, don't waste it. Don't sleep in, don't do your laundry, don't do those boring chores, and don't even think about going near that sofa and switching on the TV! Think of the nicest things possible, things that you've always wanted to do, and do it!

Below are some suggestions of things you can do when you have a whole day to yourself, but no one to spend it with.

1. Go shopping

If there's one thing I hate, I hate people waiting for me while I shop. It makes me feel like I have to rush. But now you're on your own! You can enter one shop and stay there all day long staring at a thing you like and be as indecisive as you want. You can enter 15 different shops and leave and re-enter them and leave again and not buy anything. You can pick up the most hideous top the world has ever seen and no one will be there to judge you or urge you. Only when you're alone will you discover what really like and what you wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.

2. Take your camera with you and go explore!

It doesn't have to be one of the 7 wonders of the world. It could be that nice little bookstore you spotted hidden behind some trees when you were driving somewhere. It could be a clump of flowers behind your neighbour's house. Or you could go to your favourite haunt and try to capture the things that make you love that place so much.

If you've moved once, you will notice that we have pictures of every place we go to except our own house. We take it for granted that we'll always live where we are and we never bother to take pictures of it.

3. Make/Build/Bake/Create something while listening to your favourite songs

You have the whole house to yourself. This is your chance to put your favourite song on repeat and you can sing out loud and dance in your underwear - no one is there to criticise you! Then once you're in the groove, decide what you want to do. You can bake a cake, try out a new recipe, try sewing that expensive dress you cannot afford, make a new table from scratch, build a computer, anything you fancy.

4. Dress up real nice and go check out that new place

When you can be comfortable in your own company, then you can enjoy being with almost anyone! You don't have to worry if that person is fun or not, nice or not, because you know there's always you to fall back on. It's not embarrassing to be alone. It shows that you're confident enough to handle things on your own. There's a new cafe and you're dying to check it out. Just wear something that makes you feel good, dab your favourite perfume and just sit there and enjoy the atmosphere.

The thing about Malaysians is, it's like people are embarrassed to dress up nicely. I LOVE looking nice. I have many nice dresses and I wear them all the time. Sometimes people look at me, probably thinking, "Why is she all dressed up?" but I don't really care. I'm not dressing up to impress anyone. I do it because it makes me happy.

5. Strike a conversation with a stranger

I do this pretty often. Obviously I don't ramble about my private life. There are plenty of things to talk about with people you don't know and they can provide pretty amazing insight and see things in a way you've never seen before. With strangers, things can get philosophical quite easily.

I did once mention a problem I couldn't solve to a stranger. I left out specific details, and only mentioned the situation. And the stranger helped me solve that problem because she didn't have any vested interest. She neither liked me nor hated me. So I could treat her opinion as something completely objective. DO practice discretion in choosing the stranger, place and topic =)

6. Find a place where you can hear yourself think and let your ideas flow

A quiet place. I'd love to say the library, but the stuffy National Library at Jalan Tun Razak isn't exactly my idea of an inspiring place. Go to a beach if you're lucky enough to live close to one. Go to a lake and if the day's not too hot, rent a boat and go to the middle of the lake and stay there. If you have a nice garden, then sit there with a nice cold drink and listen to your thoughts.

I stare into space a lot. It's not that I'm spacing out, I just do a lot of thinking and reflecting. And when I take time to carefully analyse my thoughts, I surprise myself sometimes with the way I see things. Usually I'd have a notebook and a pen so I can write down things anytime I want.

7. Pick up a guitar (or any musical instrument) and play it

If you don't know how to play one, then learn. People who can play musical instruments are sexy. It is also easier to make friends because you have a topic for conversation.

When I'm bored out of my wits, I just pick a song that I really like and try to learn it on my guitar. I love the guitar because it sounds great and it's portable and super sexy.

8. Write/Draw/Paint/Sculpt

I think most people have an artistic side. And how would you know for sure that you're not artistic if you don't at least give it a go?

So take out a huge cheap canvas and pour your heart out! Remember, you're alone, so you can paint or draw or sculpt whatever you fancy and no one will be there to make tsk-tsk-ing sounds. If you hate the result you can try again, or you can burn it and never do it ever again.

Expressing yourself in creative ways is the best way to understand yourself (or confuse yourself more). I've always been artistic, and even the way I think is abstract sometimes. So when I express myself in pictures and strange words, I find a little bit more of myself in concrete form because it's right there in the physical world - I just made it, brought it to life - on a piece of paper. It's a piece of me. Nevermind if you have no clue what you just created. If your sculpture looks like a cucumber, then maybe you have a fetish for cucumbers. Go figure.

9. Go volunteer for a day

There are plenty of places that need volunteers. You don't have to go to Africa or Central America, just look for local ones. I volunteered with EPIC once and found myself in a Kampung Orang Asli in Kuala Kubu Bharu. I intend to do it again when I have the time.

There are many things to do as a volunteer. You can help poor people, sick people, animals, conserve the environment, spread a message. If you simply cannot find an organisation you can identify with, then think of something that moves you and do something small scale. A YouTube video, a poster (make sure it's biodegradable), a street performance, anything that gets attention. Try to avoid the prison, some people get sensitive when they see large crowds.

10. Do some sports

Run, swim, cycle, box, climb. Physical activity is a great way to know yourself better. You find out what you're good at and what you lack. You find out what you need to work on and what you need to slow down on. And while we're busy doing physical activities, it leaves our mind open for a private discussion with... ourselves.

When I run, I find myself saying, "Just a bit more, let's just get to that tree and then you can stop running." And when I reach that tree I go, "I'm just kidding, you can stop running at the next bend." I talk to myself like that until I'm completely exhausted and I start laughing by myself.

The list can go on and on. But 10 is a nice number.

I don't remember ever being afraid of being alone. When I was little, both my parents were busy working and my second brother and I were often alone in that big house.

Actually it's not that the house was big, it just felt big because I was so small and it was so empty, save for my brother and I and the furniture around the house.

Unlike our friends, we lived far away from school. We couldn't walk or cycle to school to see our friends whenever we wanted. So we had to make do with each other's company and the things around the house.

My second brother taught me to ride the bicycle and play the badminton. I guess he was that bored so he became really patient and was determined to make me learn all that so I could play with him. And learn I did. And play I did.

We would cycle around the area and I would pretend like I was on a great adventure. We also played a lot of Lego and card games and video games. And if we get into a fight, we'd find our own things to do. I'd bury myself in books and drawing and going around the house catching butterflies and releasing them and catching them again and releasing them again. When I'm bored of that, I make friends with cats or try to get as close to a bird as possible.

I guess, growing up this way, away from all my school friends, I learned to do things alone. In school, it used to puzzle me why girls have to go to the toilet in a group. During recess time, people could cry if there's no one to go to the canteen with them.

So, I am actually thankful for all that alone time. Because I was alone quite often, I find things to do. I found time to learn to play the guitar. I found time to draw. I also found the courage to speak to strangers because sometimes I really do want friends. There was this Caucasian girl who stayed around my house and she was around my age. Her name's Bianca. We were good friends and did a lot of things together. And then she had to move again. I was sad for a while, but I quickly found other things to do.

Now it doesn't really matter if there are people around or not. I can enjoy myself either way.

And today, I am here at my favourite cafe again because no one's at home. I spent quality time on my own, listening to great music, with no one bothering me, writing this and watching a movie on my laptop and drawing things in my sketchbook. I can be fickle, I can be lazy, I can change my mind, I ordered my favourite drink and ignored everyone else.

What a lovely Saturday today turned out to be.

Oh, and I'm wearing a nice dress =3

Reason behind the video

On New Year's Eve I released this video that my friends and I were working on for about 7 days.

How It Started

Exactly 1 year ago right after midnight, my friend Subha and I wrote down our 3 new year resolutions on a piece of paper and sealed it in an envelope. I didn't know what her resolutions were and she didn't know mine (still don't). The idea was to work hard all year long to achieve the things we wrote in that envelope now stuck on the wall of her room.

We agreed to open the envelope today to see if we achieved the goals set for ourselves last year. I'll be Skyping her in a few hours to see if she managed to complete hers.

I won't tell you what my first 2 resolutions were, but the third one was to 'Do something crazy!'.

1 week before 2012

I was sitting at Secret Recipe with some friends enjoying their company while having cakes, tea and coffee. We were talking about careers and old friends and somehow the conversation took a turn into goals. I was immediately reminded of my 3 resolutions, somewhat sadly.

All 3 of my resolutions were pretty general, so the first 2 resolutions were more or less fulfilled. I told my friends I felt a bit sad because there's less than 7 days left to 'Do something crazy'. Unlike the 2 other resolutions, I didn't even give this one a good try.

So we started talking about crazy things I could do just so I could feel good about having given all 3 of my goals a really good try. Some of the suggestions were quite funny:-

1) Dress up as a guy and try to act like one. I think someone did a proper sociological experiment on this. It was really interesting.

2) Bungee jumping. But I was broke and I didn't know how to fib to my mom.

3) Burn money (again, too broke for that).

So in the end, I decided to stalk random strangers and ask them to participate in a video about racial unity. It wasn't exactly crazy, but I figured it's still good since it's for the good of society!

That was December 24th, 2011.

The Incentive

Malaysians like free stuff, and being the constantly broke person that I am, I decided to make some bookmarks! I stayed up until 2am drawing a very clichéd 1Malaysia image of 3 girls - Malay, Chinese and Indian. I decided to make it less stereotypical by making the Malay girl wear a punjabi suit, the Indian girl a cheongsam and the Chinese girl a kebaya.

If you notice, their clothes carry the colours of the Malaysian flag =p

Note: I'm very particular about my art, and I'm very well aware of all the flaws in the above image. I just want you to know that my average standard is much higher. Thank you.

Not that anyone would notice from the bookmark because I printed them in black and white (coz I'm broke, remember? And my brother would smack me for using up all his colour ink).

The next morning, I dragged my friends to my house and made them help me cut some ribbons and tie them to the bookmarks. It's worth mentioning that they're both males...

Because males and ribbons and arts and crafts don't generally mix well. So kudos to both of them for their patience and strong will!

Christmas Day

I KNOW, I know it's not the best time to do a survey. But I needed my friends' help, and they wouldn't be around after Christmas.

And I KNOW, KLCC on Christmas Day was not the best place to go because most people would be tourists busy shopping. I just didn't think about all these things because everything was so rushed.

Anyway we tried. I was really nervous at first. My first few attempts were rejected until I came upon these 2 nice girls =)

I was so excited by my first success that we watched the whole recording on the spot. Muka semangat gila.

So we kept trying, locating potential victims here and there. Willing people were not many, but that's to be understood, especially when I told them that it would be on YouTube.

(Scheming) and finding better ways to approach people and ask better questions. Impromptu strategy making!

At the end of the day we managed to get responses from a whopping number of people of... wait for it... 4!

I felt so depressed and decided to go get ice cream cake at NZ's posh-ier counterpart - the NZ Garden Cafe at Jalan Ampang.

The weather was lovely and my friends and the ice cream cake cheered me up. I decided to make a strategic withdrawal for the day and get this video done in a more effective way.

Guy with glasses is Shahril aka camcorder-man. The other male is a rarely seen creature as he is usually the one behind the camera. This male goes by the name of Anas.

The more effective way

By the next day, I came down with a fever. Don't know which annoying bugger transmitted this horrendous virus to me, but there was no way I could run around KL looking for more victims in this state.

So Shahril decided to help me by volunteering to get some of his friends to participate. As he said this, I wondered where all MY friends went. Then I realised that a huge chunk of them are still in the UK. That's when the harassing started.

I facebook messaged a lot of them, not knowing if it'll work out. But hey, the important thing is to try, right?

To cut it short, the video happened. My friends sent their videos to me via skype and email. A lot of people offered plenty of encouragement once the video was up for which I'm grateful. It might not be the best video ever, but I feel satisfied knowing that in the past 7 days, we tried really hard.

Bad timing & the message

Someone told me that right now is a bad time to talk about racial unity. I don't deny that. But precisely because of that, I think it is important, now more than ever to remind everyone that we should not be fighting amongst ourselves. 

If only more people are willing to be reminded of this simple fact, that most people are good and kind and just want to get along with everyone else as much as the next person. If only more people would give more people a break. If only we remember that rotten people exist in every single race and they are greatly outnumbered by good people in every single race. 

Remember the incident where a Malaysian student was mugged by a bunch of chavs in the UK during the riot? UK residents were horrified and donated more than £20,000 to him as a sign of goodwill. Even in difficult times, people show goodness if only we give them a chance.

Malaysians are not aggressive people. We don't like fighting. We don't like confrontations. We don't like prejudice. We like being accommodating. We like being friendly and nice.

We like food. And if that's the only thing we have in common, God help me so be it, let's fight to protect our food if not one another! 

We cannot chase the Indians out of Malaysia because mamak stalls and curry would cease to exist. Ever tasted roti canai and curry made by Malays and Chinese? Yeacht, disgusting.

We cannot chase the Chinese out of Malaysia because there goes your dim sum and soft shell crab and an entire encyclopedia of amazing food. 

We cannot chase the Malays out of Malaysia because nasi lemak and all the gulai and kuih will vanish with the Malays.

So let's accept one another and enjoy the good side of every race. Sometimes something annoys someone, but that's normal, isn't it? I mean Subha annoys me all the time (and vice versa) so I sulk for half a day and then we're friends again.

That's it. The big reason behind the video. It started as one unfulfilled 2011 resolution. I'm glad I did it. Because with that video, I really feel like I ended 2011 on a positive note.

Regardless of the effectiveness of the video or the reaction, I will continue doing what I believe is right.

And I believe that all that food is here to stay. Nothing is going out.

New Year

2012 will be here in less than 3 hours.

2011 was a challenging year for me. But the moments that were good, I enjoyed it thoroughly. I'm happy to say that I lived every moment so fully, that I have no regrets or any sense of melancholy leaving 2011 behind. Because everything that happened to me, I did my best to appreciate them.

So here's to another year of living every moment to the fullest. To giving my best in everything. To continue improving myself, and learning new things. Here's to renewed hope!

If you're here about that video I just put up on YouTube, it'll be up first day next year.

Happy New Year everyone! =)

What lies beyond 'good'

Recently I gave a business presentation as part of a job interview process. I really worked hard on it. The amount of research and thought that went into it was enormous. It's one of those few times when I could say that I really tried my best. Well. I could've done more, but I guess what I'm trying to say is it's not often I put my all into something that's not related to my passion.

One of the most useful skills that God gave me when I was born is the ability to grasp or understand something quickly. Which was why in school, I never needed tuition like a lot of other Malaysian students. In fact it was counter-productive for me. The fact that I had good teachers also helped a lot. Whenever they explained something, I would get it almost immediately. All I needed to do was to complete my homework to reinforce my memory.

I guess, being aware of this ability from a young age, I became lazy. I never had to try very hard to get good academic results. Even in university when things get more serious, I only put it a little more effort. The first time I would open a textbook is right before an exam (which means the night before). I'd memorise several keywords and expand them into an essay. I graduated with upper second-class honours, which is just a class below first class. Pretty good I say, given the amount of effort I put in.

But this business presentation really changed me. Before my brother helped me, it was already pretty good. But at the end of it all, I realised that what lies beyond 'good' is so much more satisfying. It wasn't just the powerpoint slides, it was the words I used to present it, the tone of my voice, my mood, the way I tell a story - the combination of it all - it was excellent.

I was always a good student. But excellence was something I rarely strived for. Of course anyone would prefer to be labelled as 'excellent' in anything, but I knew it was something that didn't come easy. Especially without effort.

When I told my brother how I thought the presentation went really, really well, he said, "You feel good, don't you?"

Then he said, "But it was a lot of hard work, wasn't it?"

I worked hard. I was tired. When it was pretty much done, I worked on it some more. I knew I wanted the presentation to be good, but I didn't expect myself to put that much effort in the first place.

But because of all that, it made the whole experience so much more satisfying. When I walked out of the presentation room, I felt the need to celebrate. The reaction from my interviewers were good, but what was strange was, I didn't care if they thought it was a total flop. I really did work hard on it, and it was over and all I wanted to do was to celebrate. Get myself something nice to congratulate myself on a job well done.

Usually I depend on other people's feedback to feel good, but not this time.

Now I feel like I understand myself and other things a bit more. I love Japanese culture. I love animes and mangas. I love them because the main characters all have one thing in common. They always give it their all. It doesn't matter what their personalities are. Some are slow, some are smart, some are evil, some good, some crazy, some boring, but when they do something it's always with all the spirit they could muster. No wonder the word 'ganbatte/ganbare yo' (and all the variances) come up so often. They are always encouraging one another or telling other people that they are going to try their best.

And in the stories, after completing something no matter how small, they'd make a big deal out of it and celebrate. Like, if a character finished decorating a Christmas tree, she would buy herself her favourite food.

I never really identified with that before. In the past, even after I've done some studying, I didn't feel like rewarding myself. Probably because deep inside I knew that I didn't really try that hard and so I didn't really deserve anything.

But if I were to follow the characters I admire so much, if I were to be this way, then I think life would be so much more richer. Everything is a cause for celebration. How wonderful is that?

Right now I am in the middle of celebrating. I am rewarding myself with a nice drink from Starbucks, watching the rain from this comfortable sofa, writing this.

So. What lies beyond 'good'?

It is self-improvement. Satisfaction. Self-appreciation. Celebration. It is excellence.

Whatever I do from now on, I will make a point to put my all, even if putting just a bit is enough.

Email

The more you want something, the harder it is to handle fear.

And I have typed and sent one of the hardest email I've ever had to type and send in my whole life.

I had so much fear prior to typing that email. This very fear was the cause of the delay of that email in the first place. I should have done it a month ago. But every time I remembered what I was supposed to do, I would make the thought disappear. I didn't want to deal with it.

I was afraid of so many things. I was afraid that after all that distance between the time I was supposed to email them, and now, they would say,

"What's the point?"

Or they could say,

"I don't think you're serious enough about this."

Or they might think,

"You're not good enough."

The thought petrified me. I even considered just dropping the whole thing, even though in my heart I knew that was not the right thing to do. I'd be betraying myself if I let myself let go without even trying. I mean, it's such a simple thing. It's just an email. How can I tell myself I've tried my best if I can't even type an email?

So... It's always during the most normal of times that I decide to take action. Finding the email they sent me was easy, all I had to do was click 'older emails' and I knew I'd find it. The fear made my finger feel really heavy though.

But, the moment I typed 'Hello so and so...' words came easily to me. It's always so when I'm filled with emotions. As the way it is with this post, right now. When I write from the heart, fear gradually disappears. It's strange. It's almost as if...

All the fear and negativity come from the rational part of my body, my brains. And all the courage comes from the heart. It's almost as if the heart is fearless.

When I finished typing the email, I sighed and thought, "What took me so long? That wasn't that hard."

Because reading what I typed, I didn't care anymore what they'd think of me. I only cared about the truth, and the truth is, I am earnest, honest and trying my best. And I tried the best I could to get my feelings across in that email. Of how much I'm working towards my goal.

I think generally, people are nice and really accepting. I'm just being way too critical of myself.

But hey, who's going to set the standards on myself if not me?

So that's it. The thing that's been bugging my mind for the past 1 month, I've gone and done it. And I'm glad I did it. I'm glad I didn't do it later, but now. And I have a feeling this new song I'm listening to on repeat has something to do with this extra courage I sense in my heart. I'm really grateful to God for that. He's everywhere. Really.

Time to start writing again!

Lately I've been squeezing my brains for things I can write about on a regular basis. I write so seldomly nowadays (save for Facebook status updates) I'm afraid I've gotten quite rusty.

Also, I read and learn about a lot of new things everyday. You'd think that my conversational prowess should be quite exceptional compared to before, but sadly, most of the time I am only able to recall about 30% of the things I've read and learned about in the past.

When I try to memorise something interesting, I always make notes about them on cute, colourful papers. I used to do this a lot, but notes have a way of disappearing, and even when they don't, shuffling through a huge stack of disorganised, random information is not the best experience when I'm trying to recall something in a hurry.

So, right now I have these 2 problems. (1) I don't know what to write about. (2) I don't remember most of the things I read about.

Therefore I have decided to write about something that I want to learn more of. They say the best way to learn is to teach. And there's no better way to recall than to explain it again!

Since I'm sharing this blog on public space, I will put more effort into being factually correct so as not to embarrass myself. Hopefully, one day this blog will be a helpful source of information for other people.

So there it is! The solution to my problems. I now have plenty of things to write about, and hopefully in the process of explaining things that I've learned, I will improve my writing and also permanently embed all the information into my brains.

Wish me luck!

PS: The image below can already be categorised as viral - it's all over my Facebook newsfeed. I just find it interesting and funny (well, probably not so funny for Ms. McKeith).

But when I see it, I'm still sticking to the philosophy of moderation when it comes to food. Being a carnivore or a herbivore is both extreme. A well-balanced diet of fresh food is always the best.

Graduation gown

I had no idea that something as simple as putting on a graduation gown could make me feel so special. But it did, and it made me think of how some leaders could feel that they're above the law once they get accustomed to a title or position. But that topic is for another day.

The day before my graduation, my family and I were on our way to Nottingham from Wales. I wanted to reach Nottingham early because I needed to find a suitable outfit to wear for the ceremony, but we had to stop at Stoke-on-Trent instead because the shops would all be closed by the time we reached Nottingham.

They had a huge shopping mall there and I went straight for Debenhams. The first dress I picked up was from Coast, a strapless, elegant black dress - perfect for the occasion. And the price was 50% off! But it took me a while to decide because I wasn't sure how the graduation gown and hood would hang from it. In the end I did buy it and I'm glad.




After registering my name this morning, I went straight for the gown hire section and got someone to put it on for me. It was a nice old lady who was very gentle with me. I had no idea how she did it, but the last thing she put on me was the graduation hat. And after pinning it on, she looked into my eyes and said, "You look gorgeous."

I suppose she says this to many people, but that comment lifted my spirits. And when I started walking towards the entrance to meet my mom, I could feel the light material flowing on my sides and bouncing against the back of my calves. It felt wonderful. Different. The gown had a meaning attached to it; a sense of achievement. That I had the right to wear it.

The gown and of course the presence of my whole family kept me smiling the whole day. Even now, I'm smiling as I recall everything that has happened today.

And to top it off, I just came back from meeting Subha, Hazriq, Migle and her brother at SaltWater, a bar at CornerHouse. The meeting was brief, and Migle had to leave after 1 hour because she didn't want to leave her mother alone at the hotel. I'm not worried about not seeing her again because I know I will. When I called my family, they told me to have fun. And I did, in my own way. After all, it is my graduation day.

So Hazriq, Subha and I went to Frankie and Benny's where they ordered appetisers and main courses while I settled for a super-rich vanilla cheesecake (already had an early dinner with my family before meeting up with friends). We talked, just like old times and it felt like we were back in our first year in the UK. We were all so different and yet we just clicked. And I know these 2 along with Migle and hopefully Joanna too (I got close to her only recently) will stay as strong friends with me the way Shahril, Zan, Anas and Aisyah are.

Friendship is a strange thing. I made so many friends here. Some I love so much but are away, working on their own lives, getting hitched, working. Some I tread the difficult line between friendship and something more. Some I just never imagined would change, but that's childish thinking. Things always change, but the best one can hope for is for it to change in a good way. Aisyah and I changed so much, I know, but even though we don't talk everyday the way we did in high school, I know we're still important to each other.

In my final year, I was afraid that I might have lost my flair for writing. But I guessed it right; my final year evoked no particular strong emotion towards anything because my life focused on one thing only - getting good results. I'm happy that writing this post comes so easily. I am filled with emotions right now. Complex ones - but mostly happy. I know that once my life gets going again, I will continue writing the way I did before, but better.




It's been a full day. Spent with people important to me in every way. It's not possible to live alone - I learned that from one year of isolating myself. I have people who genuinely love me, and the best thing is that I genuinely love them back. Thank you for being my friend and loving me just so. Right now, my life is full.